Week 18 (Apr. 29-May 5): Love and Marriage

This week’s theme of ‘Love and Marriage’ closely echoes, for me, the previous theme of ‘Step’.

Throughout history, love and marriage has never been straightforward.  Marriage was often a necessary transaction which had little to do with love, and more to do with economics, bloodlines and necessity.

Frequently the death of a spouse had life-changing consequences for the family left behind.  A woman, the death of her husband could mean the loss of his income and protection.  A widow could be left virtually destitute, with little or no inheritance of her own, struggling to raise children without means to find employment to support them.  Remarriage could be an economic necessity, especially if she did not have family nearby who were willing – and financially able – to support or take in her and her children.

For a man, the loss of a wife could also be difficult.  Becoming a widower could leave him with young children he would struggle to look after, especially if he had to keep working.  Perhaps a spinster or widowed sister or cousin might be available to step in and help, or he might have the funds to hire a housekeeper and nanny.  Again, a swift remarriage could be a necessity to provide someone to care for the house and children while he was working.

Such marriage and remarriage could result in very tangled family lines.  In last week’s Step I wrote about my 3xGreat Grandfather Thomas May, who married 4 times, with his final wife being the widowed mother-in-law of one of his daughters.  A complex relationship in my family tree.

Another complex relationship was that of my Aunt, Mavis Pummeroy, and Aunt Thelma Clark.  Mavis, born in 1924, married Ernest Horton on the 15^th of September 1947.  Her Aunt Thelma, born in 1914, had married Clarence Horton, Ernest’s brother, on the 6^th of April 1935.  Thus these two women were not only aunt and niece, but also sisters-in-law.  Love and marriage could create complex relationships indeed!