Courting is an aspect of our ancestors' lives it is often difficult to trace but so rewarding to uncover - how did they meet, court and decide to marry? What prompted them to choose each other as life partners? In the past marriage was usually for life - divorce was difficult to achieve and incurred a great deal of social stigma, especially for women, and remarriage after a divorce was also problematic. So choosing a spouse was a major decision, not easily undone.
For women especially, marriage was a huge step. The laws in Britain were based on the idea that women would get married and that their husbands would take care of them. Before the passing of the 1882 Married Property Act, when a woman got married her wealth was passed to her husband. If a woman worked after marriage, her earnings also belonged to her husband.
The idea was that women should stay dependent on a man: first as a daughter and later as a wife. Once married, it was extremely difficult for a woman to obtain a divorce. The Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857 gave men the right to divorce their wives on the grounds of adultery. However, married women were not able to obtain a divorce if they discovered that their husbands had been unfaithful. Once divorced, their children became the property of their father, and the mother could be prevented from seeing or contacting her children if the father so decreed.
I know very little about the courting of my ancestors other than my own parents. Three of my grandparents passed away before I was old enough to ask questions, and my parents knew very little as it was a subject that was not discussed. I have only written records and the occasional newspaper report to help flesh out these aspects of my ancestors' lives, along with some knowledge of the etiquette and attitudes of the times.
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